Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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