well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
