After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
