I looked at my own cervix.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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