Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
