Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
