I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
