He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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