yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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