How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
