I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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