I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
