When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
