I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
