Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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