So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We had sex on a dog bed..
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
