Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
How naked do you want me to be?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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