so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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