White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
