Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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