3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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