Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
