The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
