Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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