Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
