honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
