Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
