It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
