He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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