im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize