I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
