We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
