She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
