Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
When are your genitals available?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
