i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
