did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
