bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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