your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
