please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
