I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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