im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
