I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
