I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
