p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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