ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
