You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
