Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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