i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
