just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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