It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
