hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
