No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Pants are for mortals
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
