they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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