I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So much Jack, so little girl.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You ate ashes out of my bong
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
