Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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